Winter melon

This week can be summed up in one word: SNOW! What started off as a normal week ended with 14.2 inches of snow - the second largest snowfall amount in recorded history for Wichita! Just when I thought Spring was right around the corner, old man winter came back with a vengeance. (As I type this on Monday morning, we are getting more snow!)

Other than normal late term pregnancy sleep troubles, the week has gone really well. I have taken time out for a couple of extra naps and have been keeping up with yoga. Those things have seemed to help me continue to feel good. I just pray that it keeps going this way for a few more weeks!

37 weeks!

Now that you are officially "term," you could come any day and be ready to take on the world! Well, you might need just a little help from mom and dad, but your lungs are ready to breathe air and you will be able to eat on your own by now. It is overwhelming to think of how much you have developed over the past few months. I feel like you are growing up on me already! This week you might be around 19 inches and over 6 pounds.

Despite the adverse conditions from the snowstorm, we were determined to make our baby appointment this past week. So, we left early, bundled up, and took Grant's truck in 4WD last Thursday. I finally got my Group B Strep test out of the way. Baby's heart rate was 140 and I am still measuring on track. All good news to us! This weekend was also our second baby shower. We had a great turnout and were thoroughly blessed by friends, family, and neighbors!

Now that we have our second shower behind us, we've been BUSY getting everything washed and put  away, set up, and organized. Our nursery is just about fully stocked! Having that completed leaves us wanting a few weeks to rest and relax before baby comes. It's crazy to know that he could come tomorrow or he could come in five weeks! Although it would be nice to know when he will arrive, we are just trying to enjoy each day!

Love, the George family

Honeydew

There never seems to be a dull moment around the George household. This week, we went into crazy organizing mode and got everything cleared out of our great room in the basement! It looks so beautiful, every time I walk down there, I just can't help but smile! (Yes, organization truly does make me insanely happy...I know I'm weird!) It is one of the greatest acts of love and sacrifice that Grant has made for me. He doesn't care about things being organized nearly as much as I do, and he has worked so hard. Not only did he clear out the basement, but he cleaned out the GARAGE because we needed extra storage space. What a man! Now that's a Valentine's Day present I will remember. We were able to cuddle up and watch a (free) Redbox movie in our clean basement. :)

Grant did most of the moving around and organizing because I am on a sort of modified rest. I had my first contractions this week at 35 weeks, 1 day. Although they weren't regular, they were the real deal and my midwife just wanted me to slow down and take it easy so that I don't go into labor early. Although it has been difficult to not get things done, I have been able to slow down enough to reflect on the pregnancy and the many wonderful blessings I have in my life. I've been a lot more tired this week; it's like a flashback of the exhaustion from the first trimester. The upside is that I've been sleeping better!

Our honeydew baby!

It's really hard to know how big you are from this point on. Between three different websites, I found estimates ranging from 18.7 to over 19 inches in length and 5.75 to 6.5 pounds! Even though it doesn't seem like much of a variation, it could make a big difference by the time you get here. I do know that you are filling out my belly more and more every day. I get up each morning surprised by my "new" body! Your main job from now on is to gain weight. We want you to be a healthy, filled out little boy.

We're excited for our next appointment coming up late this week. Even though it means making the transition to weekly appointments, it also means that our baby's birthday is nearing! We are anxiously and eagerly anticipating his grand entrance! This week is my GBS test and I'll hopefully get my many questions answered...I've accumulated quite a few over the past couple of weeks.

Not knowing what to expect is the hardest part right now. The reality of impending labor hit me hard a few days after our last appointment, and because of scheduling, there is a three week gap in between that one and our upcoming appointment. It's given me plenty of time to realize that I feel clueless when it comes to late pregnancy symptoms and what to expect over the next month and a half! This journey is a continual challenge to give in to the unknown, becoming highly anxious or turn to my Abba Father. Some days go better than others, but at the end of each day, I know that He is in control and that He accepts me, no matter how horribly I may have handled the day. Praise God, for His mercies are new each day! He gives me the grace I need to grow by trial, and I am hopeful that Grant and I will be able to model His example of teaching to my child.

Love, the George family

Coconut

What a week! We have been very hard at work making the preparations for the baby's coming arrival. The bassinet is ready to go, with clean sheets put on. The car seat bases are installed into our cars, so we are both ready to incorporate our little one into our lives. Baby's clothes up to 3 months are all washed and put away, at least the ones we have so far. Our second shower is just a couple of weeks away, and it will be really nice to finish putting everything together! We've also spent a lot of time working on the family room in the basement, Grant installed shelving in our laundry room, and he cleaned out the garage! Phew! No wonder we are exhausted!

Symptoms this week have been in full swing. I've had more contractions/pains this week than the entire pregnancy thus far. I'm getting used to what this stage of pregnancy is going to be like, and I can see why women feel ready to have their baby already! Fatigue is starting to set in after going through a couple of almost sleepless nights. Guess it's back to the naps I enjoyed during the first trimester!

35 weeks already - wow!

You are about 18 inches and somewhere just over five pounds, and all of your major organs should be just about completely developed. This means that whenever you arrive, you will not likely have any complications. I can't believe that you are almost ready to start living in the outside world. Your kidneys are fully functioning and ready to start processing waste - we know what that means! You're ready to create lots of dirty diapers for us, and we are still getting used to the idea of diaper changes and feedings. Hopefully I learn to sleep when you sleep so that I can catch up on some of the rest I'm missing right now!

Right now, we are looking forward to another full week of getting things ready for you. Even though it can be tiring, it is fun to know that we are working hard for you. Our reward at the end of the week is a little weekend getaway for a Valentine's Day/last hooray before baby! We could not be more excited for the time devoted to relaxing together that we will have!

Waiting for our next appointment is the most anxiety provoking part of this stage of pregnancy. We have just over one week until our next appointment, and it seems like the questions just keep mounting. This stage of pregnancy presents more and more unknowns every day, and we are anxious to find out how everything is going and have some of our questions answered. Even though it seems like baby should be coming any day, we know that it will likely be 5-7 more weeks! Here's to patience!

Love, the George family

A gracious identity, part 2

As I have begun to truly understand this aspect of God, his grace, I have realized that I am not who I think I am. My fragile identity of perfection is a guise I have created in an attempt to be in control and to "save me from myself."

I have spent years working on my perfectionistic tendencies, and I have made progress. There once was a day that getting a "B" would have destroyed me. By the time I entered graduate school, I was okay with getting whatever grade I got, as long as I knew I had learned and had put forth good effort. I will admit that I never got lower than an "A" for a final grade, but I am confident that I would have been okay with it. There are many other areas in which I do not struggle with perfection in the same way I used to.

Even so, I still find myself at war with this elusive goal. With perfection still a part of my identity after years of work, I must either accept that it is just "who I am" or that I have missed something. I have wondered lately if the very thing I've been missing is the warm embrace of God's grace. Sure, I know I'm forgiven, but living in His grace is much more than understanding what it is. My obedience to Him requires me to accept myself fully: my faults, my weaknesses, my sinful tendencies. I was born into this world as a sinful being. It is by no act of my own that I have sinful tendencies. And this acceptance is in direct opposition to my self-identity.

This brings me to the crux of the issue for me: What is my identity? If I am really allowing God's grace to rule my life, how does perfection fit into that? I believe that we all develop identities based off of events in our lives. Although they may look different, they all serve the same purpose: protection. It may be perfection, like me. It may be humor. It may be hard work to an extreme. It may be needing to feel useful. It may be a hundred other things. But whatever it is, it keeps us from our true identities.

Butterfield, the author of the article I referred to in part 1, later wrote, "If Jesus could split the world asunder, divide marrow from soul, could he make my true identity prevail? Who am I? Who will God have me to be?" I believe that He can, as did she. (For more on her, read the article here.)

Though I may not understand how this will all work out in my life, I am confident that God will continue to reveal my true identity as I embrace every aspect of who I am. Though looking at the thorn is not beautiful, neither can the true beauty of a rose be comprehended by the sight of just one petal. I have a feeling that the journey will be more beautiful than the destination.

A gracious identity, part 1

"I expected that in all areas of life, understanding came before obedience." I read this quote by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield in an article she wrote for Christianity Today recently (read the article here). It resonated with some thoughts I've been having lately.

I've always placed an emphasis on my ability to perform well. Our education system sets us up to place the greatest importance in positive evaluations by others. Although these can be good measures of our effort, they can also be quite biased. I quickly learned how to please teachers. I was perceptive of what a teacher wanted out of me, regardless or whether or not I was learning all that I should have learned. It was less about the journey and more about the destination. My understanding of what I "needed to do" led to my obedience.

I've lately noticed that this has carried over into just about every area of my life, most importantly my spiritual life. I have a tendency to think of God in terms of how I can please Him. It is, therefore, difficult for me to really grasp ahold of His grace, both for myself and for others. In addition, I have realized that my propensity to please others has caused me to become enslaved to perfectionism. "Of course," I reason, "if I can do everything that [person] wants me to do, then I will be perfectly acceptable to them." If they are unhappy with me (or I think they are unhappy with me...or they are even just unhappy in general), then I have failed. My perfection falters and then crashes to the ground in a thousand shards of fragile glass. Or I can find some fault in them, in order to preserve my identity.

Where is grace in all of this? There is no grace for myself...no grace for others. And yet God based His greatest act of all time on grace. Jesus died to extend to us the grace that we need to be redeemed from our sinful nature. Though I often do not understand God's instructions, I must obey. Although it makes sense to me to do exactly what others advise me to do and for them to be pleased with me, what good will this do if God is not pleased in me? If I am more concerned with God's acceptance, then I can forgive myself of making a mistake; my fragile identity will not falter; I will have no need to find fault in others. His grace has a major reverberating effect on the lives of many, and it is through my obedience that I will find an ability to rest in and extend this grace.

The BFP!

The first month we tried, I didn't really understand the "optimal window of fertile opportunity," which is 2-3 days before you ovulate. This is why you need to know your body well, even with use of ovulation test strips (get the lowdown on ovulation prediction here).

To be honest, I was disappointed when I saw the negative pregnancy test the first month. My period was a day late and I was just sure that we'd been successful. I told Grant that he shouldn't take hot baths and started looking into other silly changes we could make. I wrestled with myself and with God, until I came to a peace that God was in control and that He was going to see His will done in our lives, no matter what that looked like. We got pregnant month 2 of trying. If you find that charting is not working for you, don't dismay. From what I've read, it doesn't work for everyone. I've had friends get pregnant on accident doing natural family planning (or even on birth control) and I've had friends who can't get pregnant despite every trick and tip they can find.



When you are ready to start taking a pregnancy test, you can use
the wonderful Wondfo again!  Pregnancy tests this time, of course. In the picture, pink is the pregnancy test. Find them here. I found, yet again, that pregnancy tests are really expensive, and I couldn't stop with just one test a month! I was too anxious and started early, so I went through about three our first month and about eight when we found out we were pregnant. I watched the line get darker and darker as the days went on.

I did end up going out and buying a more expensive version from Walgreens, but only because I couldn't believe it was true! Here is the one we used. Digital seemed more accurate when reason was far from my mind, but all it ended up being was a test strip that was read by a digital piece it went into. Despite the bad reviews, it worked for us, but I am definitely more loyal to Wondfo.

Butternut squash

Things have started to sink in a bit more this week. At 34 weeks, we can't help noticing specific ways that life will be different in six to eight weeks. We enjoyed a wonderful date night this weekend and reflected on how different it would be to go out either with our baby or leaving him with a babysitter. While at the grocery store, I thought about how much more time it would take me - no more quick in-and-out to grab a couple of things. I think it's just all a part of us preparing for our addition.

I've started to experience more pregnancy symptoms this past week. Fortunately, I have seemed to figure out how to sleep and have been getting more rest. One night, I had an awful cramp in my left calf that woke me up. I've had cramps throughout pregnancy, but I've always been able to flex my foot up and work it out fairly easily. This one, though, woke me up and would not budge! I tried to sit up and reach my foot, but my belly proved to be a sure barrier. So, of course my natural response was to yell, "Grant, Grant, wake up! I need help!" Like a wonderful hubby, he bolted right up and I sheepishly asked him if he could flex my foot and massage out the cramp. He so sweetly obliged my silly outburst. A bit of an overreaction, perhaps?? I claim middle of the night insanity!

34 weeks and enjoying some Spring-like weather!

Although not much of significance is going on this week in your little body, you are still busy growing and preparing for your grand entrance! Your bones are hardening this week, which means you need extra calcium. The wild cramp I had a couple of days ago confirms to me that you have needed my calcium! Don't worry, though, I've increased my calcium intake to make sure that there is enough for both of us! You are somewhere around 17.5 inches and five pounds already.

We had our last 2-3 week baby appointment on Thursday. Our next appointment isn't for a couple of weeks and then they will be every week until baby comes! Wow, time has really flown by! Everything at the appointment was looking great. Baby's heartbeat was strong at 128, I was measuring right on track (between 33 and 34 weeks), and baby was in a good head down position! I've been feeling pretty good overall, enjoying my walks on the beautiful days we have been having lately and stretching out during yoga on the colder days.

With all of the reflection we have been doing lately, we are also feeling the time crunch. Baby's room is still a disaster! I've started freezing meals for after he is born, and we found this neat family owned company that prepares homemade frozen dinners for purchase. I plan to do a LOT of laundry starting this week - baby clothes, diapers, blankets, baby towels and washcloths, etc. It is all coming together, it just all takes time!

Love, the George family